U, Me Aur HUM!

This is my first post in almost a month. Which is a BIG thing. Actually I have decided to blog only about things “worth mentioning” and it doesn’t get BIGGER than U, Me Aur Hum! (UMAH!). For the first time in my life (I’m quite an infrequent movie-goer.. but still!), I was staring up at the ceiling of the theater trying to figure out why there was a wet patch on the ceiling.

Let me warn you at the very onset that this post may make me sound like a cynic but that’s what a movie like UMAH is capable of – it can turn perfectly sane individuals into cynics. In fact, all aspiring mainstream Bollywood directors MUST watch the movie – How to LOSE a movie in under-10 minutes!! .. Besides, it will make them feel good about themselves – You can do better!! .. No Seriously, I have the highest regard for Ajay Devgan as an actor (Company, Legend of Bhagat Singh.. etc!), which is why I was extremely disappointed with his “directorial debut!” .. I mean, what was he thinking??… Or was he??!

The movie has CORNY written all over it in Big, bold and CAPITAL letters. You can predict almost every line, every action – especially in the first half. In fact, 15-20 minutes into the movie, I thought this was something like a comic-spoof on “Bollywood-flavored Romance” – the funny things people do to grab your attention and tickle you in the beginning of a movie… OR… I thought maybe the entire movie is a spoof – Like Om-Shanti-Om! – But then I realized, Heck.. No! … This IS the movie.. and the director actually MEANS what all he is saying. So it was NOT a Scary-Movie-Style take on Bollywood Love Stories!

The first-half of the movie was predictable. It made me tear my hair apart and would easily give one the impression that this was made in the early 90s and only released now! – Of course, Ajay Devgan is not as good with anachronism as William Shakespeare was! The Second half was boring, dull and like a lot of other directors today, Ajay Devgan tried to punch in some melodrama – If you can’t make ’em laugh, let’s try making ’em cry .. Again, failed miserably!

Oh, there’s this one bit in the movie that I have to share with you all.. There’s this scene where Ajay Devgan is upset about something and he comes home all depressed.. And his wife (Kajol) is in a romantic mood. So what she does, she starts singing a song and dancing. All that’s ok.. But the title of the song is: “Maine Toh Maanga Thha… Saheli Jaisa Saiyaan”…

Excuse Me??.. “Saheli Jaisa Saiyan??..”

“Saheli Jaisa??..”

(Ahem!)… “Saheli??”